the Fellowship are CRAZY or never, EVER agree to babysit an elf
by the Random Oliphaunt
Summary: COMPLETE so, yeah, i know there about a bazillion and five stories where the LOTR characters show up randomly at someone's house, but the plot bunnies were restless and this was all i could think of...
1. Chapter 1: an Elf appears

Chapter One: An Elf appears

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings. Or Middle Earth. Or the Fellowship. (although I wish I did. Well, maybe not ALL the fellowship. Maybe just Legola- no! BAD brain! DON'T finish that sentence! *But the preciouss, we wantsss it, yesss...) Please excuse me one moment, my mind wandered and it hasn't come back...**

It all started on a fairly normal Monday evening. It was the first proper day of the summer holidays, and I was on my own in the house. Mum had left for her swanky holiday in Barbados or somewhere the day before, and my twin sister Erin was out with some of her friends.

So, anyway, I'd fed the cats, said goodnight to my Orlando Bloom posters and was curled up in the living room with some hot chocolate watching _Return of the King_ when the weird things started happening.

All the lights flickered for about a minute, and then went back to normal, but the telly had frozen at the bit where Grima kills Saruman. At first I didn't think anything too weird had happened – it was pretty stormy out, so there could have been a short power cut, and the TV was an ancient, temperamental thing that was probably as old as Tolkein (whoa, imagine owning Tolkein's television!) but then the next weird thing happened.

A sort of white line appeared in midair, and widened until it was an oval shape. Through it, I could see what looked like a hillside, with two figures on horseback riding up it. This reminded me of something, but I couldn't think what. Then there was a loud cracking noise, and the room filled with white light. Or maybe I just went blind for a few seconds. We may never know.

Anyway, when the light disappeared (or I became un-blinded) the first thing I noticed was that there was a strange guy standing in the middle of my living room. The next thing I noticed was that he was tall, had long blonde hair, was dressed in a green tunic thing and leggings and was holding a bow. "Holy Baggins!" I gasped. The guy (or was it _elf?_) looked confused, and I did the only thing I could think of when a strange man randomly appears in your living room, which was shriek and throw a pillow at him. "What was that for?" he said, looking like he was contemplating shooting me.

"Who the heck are you, and what are you doing in my living room?" I demanded.

"My name is Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood, and I know not what spell has brought me here. Aragorn and I were riding out in search of the hobbits, when there was a flash of white light and I found myself here."

"Prove it."

"Prove what?"

"That you're Legolas Greenleaf-"

"Prince of Mirkwood..."

"Whatever. Anyway, prove that you're actually Legolas, and not just some weirdo in an elf costume."

"How?"

"Ummm... show me your ears."

"_Why?_"

"To prove you're an elf."

"Fine." Legolas – I was giving him the benefit of the doubt – pushed his hair back and showed a pointy ear. "See?"

"Wait." I walked over to him and tugged on his ear.

"OW!"

"Oh my god, you really are Legolas," I said, stepping backwards. The elf rolled his eyes, still holding his ear. "Whatever led you to that conclusion?" I ignored him. My head was buzzing with questions and for some reason I felt like I was about to burst into hysterical laughter. "There's an elf in my house," I said faintly. "An actual _elf..._ in my actual _house_." Then I fainted.


	2. Chapter 2: the Gang's all Here

Chapter 2: The Gang's all Here

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. But you knew that didn't you? Clever you. Have a donut.**

"Is she dead?"

"No. I can hear her breathing."

"Are you _sure?_"

"_Yes!_"

There was a pause, then a new voice.

"Perhaps we should find a healer."

"I thought _you_ were a healer."

"Oh, yeah… Well, we should try to find _someone_. Maybe we can speak with the lord of the house and arrange accommodation for the night."

"I think the house is empty. I have seen no-one else."

"Are you _sure _she's not dea-"

"_Gimli!"_

Wait. Gimli? I opened my eyes, and sure enough, there was the dwarf, plaited beard and all. I noticed I was lying on the sofa. The elf must have put me there after I fainted. That was nice of him.

Fainting… elf… _Legolas!_ I sat up and looked around and, sure enough, the elf was there, arguing with Gimli.

"I _told_ you she wasn't dead."

"It was a simple mistake. Anyone could have made a simple mistake like that."

"Any _dwarf_ could, you mean."

"Gaah!"

But if Legolas and Gimli were here, then that must mean that the dark-haired, Ranger-like dude lounging in an armchair must be – "Aragorn?" the Ranger/King of Men looked up. "You're not going to faint again, are you?"

"No. I only faint over elves." Hell, had I said that out loud? It appeared I had. Oops. Aragorn raised his eyebrows. "Umm… good…I think…" I noticed that Legolas and Gimli had stopped bickering and were looking at me weirdly.

Fortunately (or perhaps UNfortunately) the awkward silence was broken when two smaller versions of the weird white portal thingy appeared, and the four hobbits appeared.

"Pippin!"

"Frodo!"

"Merry!"

"Sam!"

"Frodo!"

"I already said Frodo."

"Well, I'm saying it too. FRODO!"

"Now you've said Frodo twice!"

"I can say Frodo as many times as I like! Frodo Frodo Frodo Frodo Frodo!"

"Stop saying my name, it's weird."

"Hang on, where've all the orcs gone? I'm sure they were here a minute ago."

"Strider! What are you doing here?"

"…Frodo Frodo Frodo…"

"I could ask the same of you. AND DON'T CALL ME STRIDER! MY NAME IS ARAGORN!"

"Sorry, Strider."

"AAGGHH!"

Things were starting to get out of hand. Aragorn was trying to strangle Sam, and Frodo looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, or possibly planning how to kill Pippin. I took a deep breath and screeched like a Nazgul for 15 seconds (which is longer than it sounds) until everyone was covering their ears and groaning. "Okay," I said. "Now that I have your attention-"

"Ringwraith!" shrieked Frodo, and tried to hide behind Aragorn. Everyone stared at him. "I'm not a ringwraith. I'm a human, at least until my true elf parents acknowledge my existence." They all looked blank. "Never mind. My name is Catriona Menzies, and – by the Valar, what _now?_"

Yet another white hole had appeared, and this time it was Boromir and Gandalf who appeared, looking utterly confused.

The arrival of their two dead companions predictably sent everyone else into hysterics. Frodo lost it completely and started running round in circles, Gimli fainted, Legolas started laughing at him and the rest of the hobbits were cautiously poking Gandalf. Only Aragorn remained calm. "So, the dead have returned to us."

"I wasn't dead," Gandalf pointed out. "I was in Fangorn Forest, waiting to scare – I mean, waiting to _meet_ Meriadoc and that fool of a Took."

"What about Boromir?" I asked. "_He _was definitely dead." We all turned to look at Boromir. "I don't know what happened," he said. " I last remember being shot by the orcs, then darkness, and then I was here."

I looked around the room and saw that things had calmed down slightly. Gimli had come round after Legolas slapped him in the head, Frodo had stopped running round in circles and, along with the other hobbits, was pestering Gandalf and Boromir and Aragorn were talking quietly about something or other. I decided that it was safe to leave the room and call my sister. I went into the hall, making sure I could still see the Fellowship, and dialed her mobile number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Erin. It's Cat."

"Hey, twin. Have you burned the house down yet?"

"No. "

"Then what is it?"

"Well, you know how you always wanted to meet Boromir?"

"Yess?"

"Well, you're never gonna believe this, but – he's here."

"Seriously? Sean Bean's at our HOUSE?"

"Um, not the actor. The actual character. The whole _fellowship's_ at our house."

"Are you nuts?"

"I swear on the most sacred name of J.R.R. Tolkein and the equally sacred name of Orlando Bloom that I am telling the truth."

There was a pause.

"_All _the Fellowship?"

"Yup."

"Is Legolas there? 'Cause to be honest, I've kind of gone off Boromir…"

"The elf is _mine!_" I hissed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the elf in question start to look slightly scared. Oops. A curse on elvish hearing!

"I didn't know you liked Legolas."

"…I don't…"

"Then how is he 'yours'?"

"…Because… Just come home quickly, OK?"

"OK."

"And, Erin?"

"Yeah?"  
"Promise not to go all rabid-fangirl?"  
"*sigh* I promise… I'll be back soon." She hung up.

I went back into the living room to find the fellowship staring at me, especially Legolas, who had gone slightly pink. "Um, ok, everyone, my sister will be home soon, so – Merry, put the axe DOWN! Where did you even get an – oh, it's Gimli's. Gimli, why would give him your axe?"

"Well-"

"The hobbits overpowered him." Boromir smirked. I sighed and wrestled the axe from Merry. "I'm keeping this."


	3. Chapter 3: Hobbits and Sofa Beds

Chapter 3: Hobbits and Sofa Beds

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Lord of the Rings. Or the characters in Lord of the Rings. Or Middle Earth. Or the One Ring (yet! MWAHAHAHAHA!).**

I managed to stop them from killing each other until the front door open and I heard my sister come in, saying, "I swear, Cat, if this is a joke I will personally rip off your ears and- Oh my god it's Boromir! And Aragorn! And Legolas! And Gandalf! And the HOBBITS! THEY"RE SO CUTE!" And so on and so forth, until I mouthed 'rabid fangirl' at her. Then she stopped and stared at Boromir for a while.

"Ahem… everyone, this is my twin sister, Erin. Erin, stop staring at Boromir. I think you're freaking him out." Erin kept staring. I waved a hand in front of her face. She screamed, and that's when I realized it was the hand holding Gimli's axe. Oops. "Why do you have an axe?"

"It's Gimli's…" Erin glanced over at the dwarf, who was arguing with Legolas (again).

Boromir poked Aragorn, who glared at him then asked, "Where is the lord of the house? We would speak to him and arrange accommodation for the night, if we can." Awkward. Erin and I glanced at each other, wondering how best to explain things. "There is no lord of the house," I said finally, "but I'm sure we can find you all somewhere to sleep."

Then Gandalf spoke up. "You are twins? You look nothing alike." This was true. I have straight dark hair and grey eyes; Erin had wavy hair and green eyes.

Erin's left eye started to twitch slightly, which meant we had approximately 5 minutes before she had a nervous breakdown, so I grabbed her arm and propelled her into the hall. "Sisterly discussion," I called over my shoulder. "No eavesdropping!" I gave them all my best Evil Death Glare (which is actually based on Elrond's eyebrow thing) and left the living room.

"Okay, what on earth happened while I was gone?" Erin demanded as soon as I'd closed the door. I recounted everything that happened, finishing with, "And then I called you, and you said- "

"I know what happened when you called me. I WAS THERE! But what do we do now?"

"We'll have to let them stay here tonight. But we should take their weapons."

"We don't have nine spare beds, though."

"Eight."

"What?"

"Elves don't sleep, do they?"

"I don't know. Let's ask." Before I could stop her, Erin poked her head round the door and yelled, "Hey, Leggy, do elves sleep?" The elf looked slightly startled, and answered, "We do not sleep as you mortals would call it, but –"

"'Kay, whatever. No bed for you."

"Erin! Be nice!" I dragged her back into the hall. "We could put the hobbits in the attic, on the sofa bed…"

After about 15 minutes of quiet arguing, Erin and I had worked out the sleeping arrangements. We would share Erin's room, the hobbits would be up in the attic, Boromir would be allowed to sleep in the _sanctum sanctorum_ of my room because he seemed to be the least insane and/or destructive of the group, Gandalf would get mum's room and Aragorn and Gimli could fight it out over the real bed and camp bed in the spare room.

"OK, everyone, you can all stay here tonight, but first – give me your weapons." This raised a chorus of complaints, except from Gandalf. "If they are to give us shelter, then we should respect their wishes." He gave me his staff, but I handed it back. "I wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick," I couldn't resist saying. "But everyone else, give me your sharp pointy things." They all handed over assorted swords, knives, and a bow. "Erin, why don't you give them a tour of the house while I hide the weapons and set up the sofa bed?"

"Aww, but I wanted to hold Boromir's sword!"

"Fine." I handed her the sword, let her hold it for a few minutes, then held out my hand for it. "C'mon, Erin. Give it back."

"NO! It is my own… my love… _my preciousss_." Craziness runs in the family. I sighed and hit her over the head. "Snap out of it." She reluctantly gave me the sword back, and I headed up the stairs with the weapons.

I put them in my closet under a hideous coat and locked the door. Then I grabbed some clothes, my hairbrush etc. as well as anything potentially dangerous/embarrassing from my room, and dumped it all in Erin's room.

The attic sofa bed proved to be harder to set up than I had expected, and while I was wrestling with it, I heard Erin and the Fellowship climbing the stairs, and the voice of Erin the Tour Guide. "…This is a bathtub," she was saying. "It works like a sink, but – no, Pippin, don't!" I heard splashing and maniacal laughter. "You FOOL of a Took! OW! What was that for?"

"You stole my line!" That was Gandalf.

I met them in the hallway. Everyone was dripping wet and glaring at Pippin, except for Erin, who was dripping wet and holding her head, and trying to glare at Pippin and Gandalf at the same time. "I think everyone should go to bed now," she said. Trans-dimensional travel seemed to have tired everyone out, so there was minimal complaining.

Once everyone had been shepherded to their rooms, (except for Legolas, who was standing randomly in a weird Elvish sleep-trance thingy), Erin said, "I think we should sleep in shifts, to make sure nothing…happens."

"Good idea."

"OK. I'll take first watch." I smiled at her and then collapsed on the bed, realizing it was almost midnight. I fell asleep almost instantly.


	4. Chapter 4: It burns us! It burns usss!

Chapter 4: It burns us! It burns usss!

**Disclaimer: I don't own lord of the rings, or the characters (sigh). I also don't own the fish song.**

We changed shifts at five a.m. In case anyone was wondering, five a.m is a horrible hour. It was cold and dark and cold and… anyway, nothing seemed to be on fire and there were no major wars going on, just Legolas playing with our cats, Pippin and Merry. I settled down to re-read _The Two Towers_. I'd just finished reading the Helm's Deep bit (Where Haldir DOESN'T die) when I heard a weird singing coming from the bathroom. "The rocks and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish, to catch a fish…"

"Hey, Legolas?"

"Yes?" The elf looked up from playing with Pippin (The cat, not the hobbit).

"Did you see Gollum arrive?"

"That scoundrel? I last saw him fleeing Mirkwood."

"Hmmm." I poked my head round the bathroom door and sure enough, there was Gollum, eating a fish. I didn't want to know where he'd got it. "Sméagol," I said softly, not wanting to scare him. As soon as I said his name, Sméagol/Gollum looked up, hissed and ran out into the hall.

Without really thinking, I grabbed a towel and threw it over him, and he immediately fell to the floor, writhing and shrieking, "It burns us! It burnss usss!"

"It's a towel, you eejit. Legolas, guard Gollum, will you?"

I ran into Erin's room and tried to wake her up.

"Erin, wake up!"

"…Yes, Boromir, I'll marry you…"

"I'm not Boromir! Quick, Gollum's showed up. I left Legolas to guard him -"

"Wait. You let a MIRKWOOD ELF guard GOLLUM?" Erin was awake now. "Did you pay _any attention at all_ to what happened at the Council of Elrond?"

"I was distracted by Elrond's eyebrows."

Erin sighed and stalked out into the hall. The towel was still on the floor, shrieking and writhing. Legolas was ignoring it and still playing with Pippin and Merry (Again, the cats, not the hobbits).

Erin yanked the towel off Gollum, who immediately went into groveling-Sméagol-mode. "Thanks you, Mistress, kind mistress, not like nassty girl…"

"Shut up. How did _you_ get here?"

"We were in the pool, yesss, with nice fish, lots of fissh, and then there was light, yesss, bright light, and then we were here, yesss, with nasty girl and nasty elf…_gollum! gollum!"_

Well, to cut a long story short, we managed to rig up a towel prison for Gollum until we figured out if Frodo still had the One Ring. No one knew why Gollum hated towels so much; maybe they were made of the same material as elf-rope?

Nothing much happened for the rest of the night, except that it stopped raining. Then it started again. Then Merry (cat, not hobbit) fell asleep on Legolas' head. I took pictures.

**A/N: Yeah, the last two chapters weren't so good. I think the plot bunnies are angry with me 'cos I didn't buy their favourite type of carrots…**


	5. Chapter 5: The Council of Erin

Chapter 5: The Council of Erin

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own LOTR. Or Elvish. Or any works of Tolkien. Or the Fellowship (Though I wish I did. Well, maybe not ALL the fellowship. Maybe just Legol-no! BAD brain! Don't finish that! *****but the Preciouss, yesss…*****) Ahem. Please excuse me one minute; my mind wandered and it hasn't come back…**

In the morning, Erin commandeered the kitchen and enlisted the hobbits to help with breakfast, and soon we were all in the living room eating waffles. After a while, I decided to introduce them to the wonder that is television.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, OK?

The first mistake I made was turning the TV on. "AAAARGGH! Devil box!" Screamed Boromir and ran out the room. Did you know he screams like a girl? Well, he does.

I turned the telly off, made sure no-one else was going to run away screaming, and then tried to explain the concept of television. Then I had to explain the concept of a film. Then I had to explain the concept of a movie camera.

"So it is a magic box?"

I sighed. "Sure. Let's just leave it at that."

"What does the thing underneath it do?"

"That, _mellon nîn_ –"

"I'm not a melon!"

"It's Elvish, you stupid dwarf! Hey, she speaks Elvish!"

"ANYWAY, that's a DVD player. It works these." I rummaged around in a drawer for a bit and eventually held up copies of _Lord of the Rings_ and_ Pirates of the Caribbean._ "The discs store films on them so you can watch them whenever you want."

"The Lord of the Rings? Isn't that what Frodo called his story?"

"Yeah… see, the thing is, in this world, you guys are all in a story…" I then had the job of telling them about Tolkien and the films and everything, and by the end they were all looking pretty freaked out. Understandable, I guess, if someone had told you that you were in another world where you and your adventures were fantasy stories.

We were all settled and watching _Dead Man's Chest _when Boromir reappeared and pointed to Will Turner on the screen "He looks just like the man on the posters in your room!"

"_What?"_

"The posters in your room, milady. Of the man who looks like the elf." Hell. I'd forgotten to take down the Orlando Bloom posters!

"Um," I said intelligently, noticing that everyone was staring at me (including Captain Jack, but that was just because we'd paused the film.) "Well, um, you see, he's, um, I have to go… over there now…"

I escaped to the kitchen and was hunting for the mini marshmallows when I heard a soft noise behind me. I turned round and saw none other than Haldir and

Galadriel standing behind me, looking thoroughly confused. "Haldir! You're alive!" I yelled and hugged him. There is a reason why I'm not allowed marshmallows.

"Get it off! Get it off!" This was Haldir. Slightly offended at being called an 'it', I stopped let go of the elf and saw that the rest of the Fellowship and Erin were now also in the kitchen. Gimli was staring at Galadriel and everyone else was just staring.

"HALDIR! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Sweet Eru…" Erin was now also hugging the elf.

"Erin, he's turning blue." My sister reluctantly let go of the elf and suddenly facepalmed. "Now we have to find two more beds."

"Um. Six actually." Elrond, Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir were in the hallway. Aragorn immediately rushed to Arwen.

"Boromir? But you're…"  
"Where the heck did Faramir come from?"

Erin sighed. Her left eye began to twitch.

"OK. Council of Erin. Everyone in the living room NOW. Aragorn! Stop it! This is only rated K+!"

We all trooped into the living room where Erin (with her Angry Face on) presided over what could charitably be called a meeting. We left it up to the Fellowship to explain what had happened to the newcomers, since they all spoke Middle-Earthican. After that, we just had to figure out sleeping arrangements.

"Well, I guess we'll have to put a couple more people in the attic, with the hobbits…"

"Sweet Eru, NO!"

"I've already died and been brought to life. Must I suffer any more?"

"O…K… What did you guys _do_?"

"Nothing!"

"It was all Frodo's fault."

"The dwarf has a very… disturbing mind."

"Why is this a Council of _Erin_? Why can't it be a Council of Elrond?"

"'Cause this ain't Rivendell, buster."

"But I'm far older and superior to you. And only _I_ possess the Eyebrows of Doom."

"Ok, people, sleeping arrangements! Erin, stop trying to kill Elrond! He is an extremely senior elf lord who possesses the Eyebrows of Doom."

"We would sleep outside under the stars, if we may."

"Are you crazy? You'll catch pneumonia or something! Do elves get pneumonia?"

"I don't think so… What's pneumonia?"

Because Haldir had a tent with him for some reason, we let the elves camp in the back garden.

"Lady Cat?"

"Yes, Pippin? Wait, are you Merry? What the heck, I'll just call you both Mippin… Yes, Mippin?"

"I'm Merry… and we're hungry."

"You had breakfast half an hour ago!"

"But what about second breakfast?"

"The Valar help us all…"

**Disclaimer continued: I also don't own Pirates of the Caribbean or the waffles.**


	6. Chapter 6: I'm sure we've forgotten some

Chapter 6: I'm sure we've forgotten something...

**I still don't own Lord of the Rings. Or Pirates of the Caribbean. Or Bohemian Rhapsody.**

We gave the hobbits the mini marshmallows for their second breakfast (which turned out to be a bad idea. A very, _very_ bad idea. _Never_ give Mippin marshmallows), and then sat around in the living room for a bit, wondering what to do.

Boromir and Faramir were catching up with each others' adventures, Gandalf was muttering to himself, Aragorn and Arwen were –ahem – busy, the hobbits were singing and quite literally bouncing off the walls, Legolas and Gimli appeared to be insulting each other in their native languages and the rest of the elves were either glaring at Aragorn (Elrond), laughing at whatever Legolas was saying to the dwarf (Haldir, Elladan and Elrohir) or looking at Gimli with an expression of faint disgust (Galadriel). Erin and I sat in the middle of the craziness, trying to watch the end of _Dead man's chest_. Suddenly I remembered something. "Gollum!" I gasped. He was still in his towel prison. "Frodo, do you still have the One Ring?"

"Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening..."

"Mippin! Sam! Shut up! Where did they even _learn_ that song..."

Frodo, who seemed to be slightly saner than the other three, was frantically patting his pockets. "The Ring! It's gone!"

"Galileo, Figaro – magnifico!"

"_Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina." _

"_Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!"_

"Did you have it when you first got here? Sam, _shut up_!"

"No, I don't think I did..."

"Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go!"

"Then it's safe to let Gollum out. Mippin, if you don't stop singing _right now_ I'll... I'll hit you over the head with Haldir!"

"Why me?"

"You're the heaviest. Come on Erin, let's go set Gollum free."

"Hang on, even if there's no Ring for him to obsess over, he could still do evil things."

"I'm not fat! Just because I'm not dangerously underweight doesn't make me fat!"

"No-one's calling you fat, chubby-chops... It's a risk we'll have to take. If nothing else, we'll need the towels."

"I AM NOT FAT!"

"Beezlebub has a demon set aside for me, for me, for meeee!"

"STOP SINGING!"

We released Gollum, who was looking very sorry for himself. "Nice mistresses, kind mistresses. Smeagol wouldn't hurt a fly..."

Erin seemed to be becoming slightly more sympathetic toward the slimy git – I mean _misunderstood houseguest_. "We should give him something to eat," she suggested. "Are you hungry, Gollum?"

"Oh, yesss, Smeagol is very hungry, yesss, nassty fat hobbitses took our fish, yesss, took it and _burned_ it... *_gollum! gollum!* _

"Between him and Mippin, they'll eat us out of house and home!"  
"Then we'll have to go food shopping." I gaped at my sister. Sometimes she is efficient, organized and sensible. At other times she appears to have the brain power of a flea.

**A/N: I know this is kind of a filler chapter, but it was fun to write. **

"**Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina": I believe this is Elvish for "****you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny".**


	7. Chapter 7: Crazy Aunt Eva

Chapter 7: Crazy Aunt Eva

**I don't own Lord of the Rings.**

**A/N: This isn't very good; I've been suffering from the dreaded scurvy that is writer's block…**

I gaped at my sister for about a minute before spluttering, "Are you _insane_? We can't take them shopping! Gimli might kill something, or the hobbits would get arrested... and what about," I lowered my voice to a dramatic whisper, "_fangirls_?"

"I didn't say we'd have to _take them shopping_. I said _one of us_ would have to go shopping."

I began to see where this was going. "Nope. No way. You are _not_ leaving me with those lunatics."

Erin just grinned evilly. I knew she was thinking of the various things she could use to blackmail me with.

"_Fine_. But you have to take _some_ of them with you."

"But I'd have to go out first to get them normal clothes…"

"We _must_ have some guys clothes somewhere."

"I think mum burned all dad's clothes after he left."

We both thought for a few minutes, then I snapped my fingers. "Crazy Aunt Eva!" Crazy Aunt Eva was actually our great aunt, who seemed to think that Erin and I were boys, and had been sending us boys' clothes for years. For some reason we had never thrown them out.

I ran up to the attic and rummaged through boxes of random stuff till I found the one labelled 'Crazy Aunt Eva'. I made a pile of clothes and took them downstairs. Erin and I sorted through them and found clothes for the hobbits and Gimli, but nothing in the right size for the rest of them. "Arwen could maybe borrow some of your clothes, Erin, and you could take her shopping for clothes for the rest of them."

With Erin, Arwen and the hobbits gone shopping, I was in charge of the others. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	8. Chapter 8: COOKIE!

Chapter 8: COOKIE! 

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, or any of the shops. **

Actually, being in charge of assorted fictional characters wasn't as fun as one would expect. Elrond, Gandalf and Galadriel formed an impromptu council in the kitchen, and eventually came to the conclusion that no-one had any idea why they were here or how to get back. Gollum sat in a corner and muttered about fish. Elladan and Elrohir played chess, which was even weirder because we didn't own a chess set. Legolas, Aragorn, Boromir and Haldir argued over the TV remote. I painted my nails ten different shades of blue.

Eventually Erin, Arwen, Gimli and the hobbits came back, looking slightly shell-shocked and carrying huge shopping bags. "Fangirls?" I asked them. Erin nodded.

"They thought he was Elijah Wood," she said, nodding at Frodo. "We got away all right, though."

"Good. Ok, everyone, come and get clothes!"

"Oh, and I got you a cookie."  
"COOKIE!" It was one of those chocolate chip cookies that's about the same size as your head. I sat on the sofa and ate it while the elves, Gandalf, Boromir and Aragorn got changed and Erin worked out where we should go next. "Is that Lush sale still on?" I asked her between bites of cookie.

"I think so. We didn't really have much time to look around on account of trying to protect Frodo from the rabid fangirls."

"I feel ridiculous." I turned round and nearly choked on my cookie.

"You look gor- I mean, you look fine," I reassured Legolas.

"Give usss that, my love," came a hissing voice from behind me. I turned round and saw Gollum, making a grab for my cookie. "No! MY cookie!"

"But its my birthday, my love, and I wantsss it."

"NOOOO!" I shoved the rest of the cookie in my mouth. Gollum freaked out and started hissing and trying to eat my hair. It was at about that moment when everyone else came in, dressed in normal clothes.

I threw a 5p coin across the room and Gollum jumped off my head and ran towards it, shrieking, "SHINY!"

"OK, Erin, shall we go?... Erin?"

Erin had spaced out and was staring at Boromir again.

"ERIN!"

"Wha…? Yeah, let's go."

We stayed as a group in the shopping centre after Erin threatened everyone with dismemberment – a much more serious threat when one has about ten swords in the house. We first off hit new look and places to find more clothes, then went (at my insistence) via Lush to the supermarket.

"Cat! We have to go now!"

"But it smells so good!"

"We've been in here for _over an hour_. The girl at the till has tried flirting with everyone except Gandalf and Arwen, and –"

"SHE FLIRTED WITH LEGOLAS?" My inner rabid fangirl broke loose for a moment and shouted incoherently with rage before it was subdued by the plot bunnies.

"ummm… yeah… and now everyone is staring at us weirdly…." She dragged me out of the shop, and off we went to the supermarket. On the way, Legolas asked, "What is 'flirting'?" Then we had to stop while Erin collapse on a bench and laughed hysterically.

When we finally arrived, Erin suggested we split up to make shopping quicker.

"Good idea. I call the elves," I added quickly. "And Sam."

"Hey, how come you get all the sane people?"

"You left me alone with all of them in the first place. Anyway," I added innocently, "I thought you'd be _happy_ to spend more time with Boromir…" Erin glared at me and mouthed, 'you will die' before stalking off with Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, Pippin and Merry, Frodo, Boromir and Faramir. I cackled evilly before leading my group to the cookie aisle.

We reconvened at the till, where Erin paid for everything with the emergency credit card Mum had left us, reasoning that having four hungry hobbits was certainly an emergency.

We got home heavily laden with shopping, and I opened the door only to have Gollum drop on my head. "Where is it? Where is the Preciouss?"

"Do you think he means the cookie or the ring?"

**This chapter is a prime example of why the author should never be allowed oreos after 9pm.**


	9. Chapter 9: the Great Hair Dye War

Chapter 9: the Great Hair Dye War

**I don't own Lord of the Rings. And if you can spot the slightly obscure Doctor Who quote, I'll give you a cookie.**

**Gollum: NOOO! Don't give away the Preciouss! The cookieses are our only friends… **_**you don't ***__**have* any friends!**_** I'm not listening, I'm not listening…**

We gave Gollum a box of cookies. He took it into a corner and ate all but one of the cookies and then the packaging. He then sat stroking the remaining cookie, muttering, 'we're going to clean you up, and make you pretty, my own, my love… _my preciousss…_' Everyone else was kind of weirded out by this. I organized a team of helpers for putting food away, and Erin the Organized drew up a chore rota. And so things slowly settled down to some version of normal for about a week, excluding a few isolated incidents (the time Sam accidentally ate cat food, the time _someone_ *cough, cough* shaved off Elrond's eyebrows, etc. etc.). Then came the Great Hair Dye war.

oOo

It started when Erin suggested that we watched Lord of the Rings again, more specifically in the (short ) break we had between the Two Towers and the Return of the King. I noticed Haldir was looking rather miserable, although that might have had something to do with the fact that Pippin had fallen asleep on his legs. "Why so glum, chum?" I asked him.

"I have just seen my own death."

"Look on the bright side," Erin interjected. "Because of that, you now have millions of fangirls."

"Fan…girls?"

"Yeah, fans, like I'm a _fan_ of Lord of the Rings." I explained. The elf looked confused. "How exactly are you a 'fan'? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?"

"Not that sort of fan," Erin said. "It means you like something."

"Ah. So you are a fan of Boromir?" Erin's face turned an interesting shade of red.

"_What did you tell him?_" She hissed at me.

"What makes you think _I_ had anything to do with it?" I asked with my best innocent face. Erin glared at Haldir. "Of course, you know this means war."

oOo

Erin had meant what she said (and said what she meant), because the next morning Haldir turned up with green hair, and Erin was grinning like a Cheshire cat. She must have had inside help *cough*ElladanandElrohir*cough*. Haldir sulked for the rest of the day, and the next morning _Erin_ had blue hair. Erin then chased Haldir round the house with a pair of scissors, and succeeded in chopping about six inches off the March Warden's hair. Haldir's revenge backfired slightly; he accidentally dyed _my_ hair bright orange. "Where on earth are they getting all this dye?" I wondered. My questions were answered when Elladan (or was it Elrohir?) pressed a box of pink dye into my hand.

oOo

The madness was stopped by Gollum, of all people/slimy little things. He had been carrying the same cookie around for about two weeks, until Erin finally noticed.

"Ew, Gollum, is that _the same cookie_ you've been carrying around?"

"Yesssss, precioussss, it isss."

"_Why?_"

"Mustn't ask questions, isn't it's businesss…"

"But it's got _fur_ growing on it!" Erin made a grab for the cookie.

"NOOOOOO! Don't take the preciousss!" Erin chucked the cookie in the bin, and Gollum completely lost it. He ran around the house, shrieking and randomly jumping on people's heads. We tried giving him another cookie, but he just stared at it for about ten seconds and then got a murderous glint in his eye.

Eventually, all eighteen of us ended up barricaded in the living room while Gollum ran around shrieking like a banshee. Finally, on a daring mission, me, Erin, Haldir, Elladan and Elrohir managed to corner him, duct tape his arms and legs together and throw him in a closet. After that, the war kind of fizzled out. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a slimy mutant psychopath is one of them.

**I realized there are also quotes from Looney Tunes, Dr Seuss and a slightly paraphrased one from Harry Potter in here. Anyone who finds all four of them will get **_**four**_** cookiessssaaaaaaaaaarrrrr adfadfhgjghnjk5ynmfbcv **

**Note: ****The author was interrupted during this last note by a screaming mutant hobbit attacking her head.**


	10. Chapter 10: A plotline! A plotline! My

Chapter 10: A plotline! A plotline! My kingdom for a plotline!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, any works of Shakespeare or any songs from Oliver Twist. I do own the Mary-Sue, though. Does anyone want her?**

**A/N: As the title suggests, this chapter is just a load of insane randomness that doesn't really have anything to do with the rest of the story. Enjoy! **

**Warning: There is some elf-kissing ahead. But it was completely necessary. It was! It was! We swears on the Preciouss!**

I woke up to the sound of a full-fledged argument coming from the kitchen. It was a Tuesday, which meant it was Aragorn and Boromir's turn to make breakfast, and that _never_ turns out well.

"An egg! An egg! My kingdom for an egg!"

"The eggs are right there, you idiot. And it's _my_ kingdom, not yours."

"You think you're so special, just 'cause you're King of Gondor."

"I _am_ special. I'm Isildur's heir, King of all Men, married to an elf, AND I've got thousands of fangirls. Beat _that._"

I sighed as I wandered into the living room. The fangirl argument never got old.

"Yeah? Well I have MILLIONS of fangirls, and_ I_ only last for one film!"

"Oh, please! _Glorfindel_ has more fangirls than you, and _he's_ not even _in_ the films!"

"Only because YOUR girlfriend stole his part! And his horse!"

I rolled my eyes at Erin, who appeared to be plotting something evil with Pippin and Merry.

Suddenly there was a commotion from the kitchen and a man ran out.

He had dark dreadlocks and was wearing a red bandana, a white shirt with billowy sleeves and dark trousers and was holding a large jar.  
He ran down the hallway and out the front door yelling, "I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt!" in a sing-song voice.

Erin turned to me, looking confused. "Was that –?"

"I think it was."

There was a scuffle outside, and I heard a cry of, "NO! My jar of dirt!" My best friend Jess came in a couple of seconds later, holding the jar of dirt and grinning. I sighed. "Jess, what are you doing here? And did you _have_ to take the jar?"

"Yes. Yes I did. Holy Tolkien, is that -" Just then, Aragorn and Boromir walked in, still arguing. Legolas, who was glaring at them both, followed them. "That is the _last time_ I help you guys make eggs…" He was saying. I didn't want to know.

All three of them stopped short when they saw the girl who had followed Jess inside.

She was an elf, tall and slender, with waist-length hair that tumbled in thick red waves. Her eyes were deep violet, which perfectly matched the floor-length, intricately embroidered dress she was wearing. She held a bow in one hand, and her voice was enchanting as a spell.

"My name is Tári. I was raised in Rivendell by Lord Elrond as my birth parents mysteriously disappeared, and taught how to fight by Aragorn, until I surpassed him in skill. I was driven from my home as I wield magic more powerful than the One Ring, and Sauron is searching for me. I somehow returned to Rivendell just in time to join the Fellowship, and whilst travelling, killed more orcs than Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli combined, stole most of Legolas' lines and made said elf fall in hopelessly in love with me. However -"

"Jess! I TOLD you not to bring the Mary-Sue!"

"It wasn't my fault! She followed me!"

I groaned. Aragorn and Boromir were still staring open-mouthed at the Sue. At first I thought Legolas was immune, until I realized that he hadn't blinked in several minutes. "We have to snap them out of it."

Hitting Aragorn and Boromir with pillows for a few minutes worked, and they were soon blinking and looking confused, but nothing could bring Legolas out of his Sue-induced trance. Not throwing the Sue out of the window. Not even pouring a jug of water over his head (Which Aragorn seemed to enjoy doing _way_ too much).

"Jess! She's your Sue! What do we do? Hey, that rhymes!"

Jess shrugged apologetically. "I don't know if there's anything we _can_ do. She was created to make him fall in love with her, after all."

I banged my head against the wall. There was only one option left. I grabbed the elf and kissed him. (I warned you! Don't say I didn't warn you!)

_That _brought him out of his trance all right, but then he seemed to go into a state of shock. I looked round to see Erin, Aragorn, Boromir and Jess grinning at me. I glared at them. "What? It was the only way."

"_Suuure _it was."

"Shut up, Erin."

"What are you talking about?" This was Legolas, who had returned to normal (although 'normal' is a relative term when you're an elf from middle earth with a Herbal Essences addiction.)

Aragorn started to say something, but I shot him an Evil Death Glare and threw a book at his head. "Ow!"

"Don't be such a wimp. It was only a paperback."

"What happened?" Legolas again.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all."

"She kis-"

"Shut up, Aragorn."

"Robin Hood, was much too good…"

"What _now_?"

We all went into the hall to see a bunch of scruffy kids dancing and singing, "…You've got to pick a pocket or two, yes you've got to pick a pocket or twooo!" The random Oliver Twist extras ran out the door, still singing.


	11. Chapter 11: Busted

Chapter 11: Busted

**A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far because I HAVE OVER 30 REVIEWS! YAY! *****Does random happy dance***** I am easily pleased… OH, and three cookies to RandomFandom5, who got the Dr. Seuss, the Looney Tunes and Harry Potter quotes.**

**I own nothing. I do own a Mary-Sue however: barely used, interesting backstory, yours for the low, low price of £25, or 1 (one) pretty elf…**

"I know a song that I'll get on your nerves, and this is how it goes…"

"OK, confession time. Who gave the Mippin chocolate, and _who taught them that song?_" I glared around the room at Erin, Elladan, Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Legolas and Jess. Ever since Jess had accidentally discovered the middle-earthians, we had sworn her to secrecy and she now spent most of the time at our house.

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves get on mmff…"

Erin shoved a pillow in Pippin's mouth.

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, and this is how it – ow!"

I whacked Merry over the head with a book. "Both of you shut up! Jess, have you found anything yet?"

Jess was on my laptop, trying to find anything that would be useful for sending them home. "Nothing yet." she replied. "There's about half a million fanfics where this kind of thing happens, but hardly any of them seem to involve people getting sent back home."

"I don't suppose there have been any real incidents like this?"

"Nope."

I sighed. The fellowship et al had been here for almost two weeks, and while it was fun having them around, my mum would be back from her holiday in a week's time, and she wouldn't take too kindly to having sixteen strangers from a book in her house.

"Surely there must be some nerds who have figured out how to make trans-dimensional portals by now?" I sighed.

"Ummm… no…." Jess gave me a weird look. "Ooh, look at this!" she said excitedly. "Did you find something?"

"Not exactly… but look, H&M's having a sale!"

"Ooh!" we both checked out their website for a bit until Erin said suddenly, "We _could_ keep them…"

"Um, no we couldn't. No offence, guys." None of the middle-earthians even looked up; they were all completely engrossed in a re-run of Doctor Who.

"They could _probably_ find jobs. The elves could… model, and Aragorn could teach karate or something…" Erin trailed off. "OK, maybe we can't keep them."

I nodded. "But what will happen to them?" No-one answered.

oOo

The week passed in a blur, and by Saturday the middle-earthians were still here, and we were no closer to sending them home. I was lying on the sofa will a pillow over my head, imagining the various ways in which my mum would kill me and Erin when she got back in the evening.

"…And then she'd take Gimli's axe, and-"

"My lady?"

I jumped. "Ever heard of _not _sneaking up on people, Elrohir?"

The elf looked suitably abashed. "I'm sorry. I thought I should inform you that Merry found the chocolate again and is currently in the kitchen, being subdued by Aragorn and Boromir."  
"WHAT? Oh God, we're all doomed…" I threw the pillow at Elrohir. "And you let him eat it _why_?" Elrohir shrugged. I heard faint sounds of a struggle from the kitchen, and the words, "I know a song that'll get on your-" before there was an ominous thud. A few minutes later, Aragorn walked in, dragging the unconscious hobbit. He was followed by Gollum, who was gently stroking an Oreo and crooning, "My preciousss…"

We bulk-ordered pizza at about six, and then Erin and I had a half-hour freak-out about what would happen when mum got home. The middle-earthians watched telly, except for Merry, who had been tied up with duct tape.

Eight o'clock arrived. I heard the front door open. "Cat, Erin, I'm back!" called my mum. "Did you have a nice-AAGGH!"

I rushed into the hallway to see my mum standing in the doorway, pointing in horror at Gollum, who was still stroking his cookie, oblivious to all else. "What- is- _that_?" Mum asked.

I considered various responses. "Well… it's a funny story really… see, what happened was… Erin?"

"Yeah?" My sister was trying to unobtrusively bundle Gollum into the kitchen.

"How would _you_ describe what happened?" I tried to back into the living room without letting my mother see who was in there. Erin gave me an evil look. "Oh, no, no way am I doing this one. _You_ can tell her." She dragged Gollum into the kitchen. I turned to my mother, who said with a forced smile, "How about we go into the living room, and you can tell me all about your holiday?"

"NO!" I tried to block the door, but it was too late. Aragorn had come out into the hallway. "My lady, I heard screaming…" My mum did a double take, then gave a steely look. "_Cat._ Explain. NOW."

oOo

About half an hour later, things had calmed down slightly. Mum's opinion of the middle-earthians had improved greatly after Boromir brought her a cup of tea, and she seemed to be more worried than angry about their plight. "Well, of _course_ they can stay here a bit longer, poor dears. I wouldn't just turn them out into the cold. But we'll have to find them somewhere else to stay soon."

"Aww, can't we keep them? Can we? Can we? Huh? Can we? _Pleeeease?_" I gave her a pleading look. Mum laughed. "Not forever, sweetie. I'm sure they miss their homes." She smiled fondly down at three hobbits.

Erin was flipping through the local paper. "There's that new block of flats up for sale now," she said suddenly. "They could stay there. And it's pretty close by, so we could keep an eye on them."

"What are flats?" Elrond asked.

"Flat apartments? It's like a huge building, divided up into lots of smaller homes."

Elrond nodded. There was a long silence, broken only when Merry, trailing duct tape, burst into the room singing, "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves…"

Two books, a shoe, a hairbrush and the TV remote hit him on the head.

**A/N: My spellchecker now accepts 'preciousss' as a word. :D**


	12. Chapter 12: An unexpected plot twist

Chapter 12: An unexpected plot twist

**I own Erin and Cat. That's all. I especially don't own the Ringbearer's Creed. It's the slogan on a t-shirt I saw on redbubble.**

**One Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue for sale! She's going cheap; only seven guineas… **

So, life went on. For the rest of the holidays, this is what the various people in our house were normally doing: My mum was trying to find affordable accommodation for the middle-earthians.

Erin and me were freaking out over the fact that it was almost the end of the summer break and neither of us had even started the homework we'd been given over the holidays.

Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam had discovered the joys of daytime TV.

Gandalf, Elrond and Galadriel spent most of the time trying to figure out a way to get back to middle-earth, but coming up with nothing. Apparently the Rings of Power are useless in this world.

The other elves kept randomly appearing in places and scaring the life out of whoever else was in the room.

Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir and Gimli had become addicted to Mario-kart, and kept trying to 'convert' others to the 'wondrous adventure game' (Their words, not mine.)

So, at the start of the last week before school started again, Gandalf, Galadriel and Elrond were in the kitchen talking about palantirs for some reason; Gollum was stroking a cookie and muttering the Ringbearer's Creed ('This is my Precious. There is no other like it, and it is mine. My precious is my best friend. It is my life. Without me, my precious is nothing. Without my precious, I am nothing.') The hobbits, Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas were paying Mario-kart, Erin and I were feverishly doing homework and the other middle-earthians were somewhere. Probably. My mum, however, was on the phone, talking excitedly to someone.

"Really? For free? Uh-huh… uh-huh… we'll take it!" She hung up the phone and then turned to Erin and me, looking very pleased with herself. "I've found homes for the Fellowship and the others!" she announced.

"Really?" I asked. "Where?"

"Well, apparently it's a new place, Cathorn Apartments. I called up, and the owner said that as a special promotion they're giving away the first sixteen apartments for free!"

"That sounds too good to be true…" Erin said skeptically. I nodded. Mum frowned. "Well, we can't keep them here forever. We're going to at least have a look, mmkay? But I don't think it's a scam. The owner seemed very nice."

"Who _is_ the owner?" I asked.

"He had a funny name… what was it… oh yes, Mr Noruas."

oOo

"I can't believe this," I grumbled for the twentieth time as we drove to Cathorn Apartments. Mum had borrowed next door's minivan, and I was squashed in the back between Legolas and Faramir (not that I was complaining…). "Can't believe what?" Mum asked.

"We're just _delivering_ the Fellowship to the forces of evil!" I yelled. Mum rolled her eyes. "No, we're not."

"We are! Look!" I threw a bit of paper at her. "See? 'Cathorn' is an anagram of 'Orthanc'!"

Mum ignored me and kept driving.

"Noruas, Noruas…" mused Erin. "Why does that sound so familiar…"

"For gods' sake, it's Sauron backwards!" I snapped at her. "Everyone else figured that out half an hour ago! Even Pippin!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Pip."

"I think Cat is right," Gandalf put in. "Sauron's power is great; it is inevitable that he would break into this world eventually."

"I agree." Said Legolas. Several other people nodded. Gollum said, "We agrees, preciousss, we does…"

"See?" I cried. "The smart guy with a stick thinks it's a bad idea! The pretty elf thinks it's a bad idea! The hobbits think it's a bad idea! The heir to the throne of Gondor thinks it's a bad idea! Gollum _and _Sméagol think it's a bad idea! EVERYONE THINKS IT'S A BAD IDEA!" I shrieked.

"Chill, dude!" Erin said.

"I AM NO DUDE!"

"Come at me, bro!" We both started laughing hysterically, which caused the other occupants of the minivan to look slightly freaked out.

"We're here!" Mum said chirpily, about fifteen minutes. We had pulled up outside what looked like a perfectly ordinary block of flats.

Everyone got out of the minivan cautiously, but no army of orcs appeared or anything like that. I was starting to think maybe I was wrong, until we got inside the building.

"Welcome to Cathorn Apartments!" There was no mistaking that voice. There was no mistaking its owner, either. He'd cut his hair and beard, but Saruman's dark eyebrows and insane, fiery eyes were as dark and insane as ever. Me, Erin and the middle-earthians all blanched and took a step backwards, but Mum didn't seem to notice a thing. "Hello! You must be Mr Noruas; we talked on the phone..."

Saruman smiled freakily. "No. Mr Noruas is away. I am his… secretary."

Mum's smile didn't falter. "I'll go fetch the luggage. Cat, Erin, why don't you help the middle-earthians move in."

As soon as Mum left the building, Saruman took out a palantir and grinned insanely at everyone. He pointed his staff at the door, and it flew shut. "Now I have you. My master _will_ be pleased." He said, then continued in a mutter, "Yes, the ringbearer, Isildur's heir, Gandalf... and the two witches from this world. He will be pleased indeed."

"Hey, _what_ did he just call us?" Erin asked angrily.

"Witches." I replied. A sudden thought occurred to me. "Maybe Sauron and Saruman think _we_ summoned the middle-earthians."

Erin looked worried. "But we didn't."

"I don't think we should tell him that." I whispered. "If he finds out we're not useful, he might just kill us." Erin nodded.

While we had been conversing, Saruman had been waving his hands over the palantir and saying something in a different language. The palantir started to glow, brighter and brighter. Me, Erin and the middle-earthians drew together in a group, me cursing the day I took away their weapons. Saruman would have been one dead Maia by now.

He was chanting in English now. "Let what was done be undone; let time fall back and events be unchanged!" The light from the palantir grew brighter until it seemed to fill the whole room. There was a weird, high-pitched shrieking sound. I couldn't see anyone else; all I could see was the white light. "Erin!" I tried to scream, but no sound came out. All I could hear was Saruman's chanting. "Let was what was done be undone; let time fall back and events be unchanged! Let what was done be undone…"

oOo

***Third person POV*******

Mrs Menzies hummed a cheerful tune as she unloaded the car. She wondered why everyone was being so negative. Cathorn Apartments seemed like a nice place. Mr Noruas had sounded like a nice person on the phone. His secretary was a little strange, but seemed nice as well.

She carried the suitcases to the door of the apartment building and pushed it open. There was no-one in the lobby. "Hello?" she called out. There was no reply. _Maybe they're still looking at the apartments,_ she thought.

But after checking on all the floors of the building, Mrs Menzies walked outside again, frowning.

It was as if they had vanished into thin air.

oOo

"My head…" Cat groaned. She sat up and looked around. Erin was slowly standing up, wincing. "Oh no," she said. "This is bad, this is very bad."

"What's …" Cat trailed off as she took in their surroundings. "Yep, this is very bad," she said, looking at the delicately carved white buildings of Rivendell.

**Aaand cue cliffhanger! Oh, just a note that I've gone over the rest of the fic and made a few little edits; nothing major to the plot, but I've made Cat and Erin non-identical twins instead of being a few years apart.**


	13. Rewrite Notice

Rewrite Notice

This is just to say that I'm reposting chapter 13 as chapter 1 of the sequel to this fic. It's called 'And My Vuvuzela' and chapter 2 should be up real soon.

**UPDATE:**And My Vuvuzela! has been adopted by BooksMakeMagicForMe, so go check it out!


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